Norfolk Island Trip 19 - 27 April 2008

So the Gay Charmers went to Norfolk Island -well - one did along with a wife and the Chief Honcho of Emu Creek and interests in The Wedderburn Old Timers

It all started at Goulburn last year with the suggestion of a Bush Dancing Festival at Norfolk Island, so 9 Musicians and 40 or 50 Dancers rallied to the cause - but I'll leave the details of that to the Guru

The plans were that we leave Saturday 19th April - early - but Murphy's Law stepped in - we had a Deb Ball at Wycheproof Friday night, so bed at 2.30, up before 5, Courier Bus at 6 and Tullamarine at 8.30 - so early, in fact, we were put on an earlier flight to Sydney

Even though our "Hold" luggage was checked in direct to N.I, we still had a multitude of "hand" luggage as musical instruments are classed as "Sporting Equipment" and allowed in the Cabin. Well you play cricket with a bat, why not play music with a fiddle?? - and so we lumbered on with not only the usual hand luggage but, as well, a fiddle, 2 boxes of concertinas, whistles and mouth organs and a bloody Bowler Hat !!. Customs? - have you ever seen a mouth organ go through an X-ray Machine? - yeah - looks like bullets in a magazine don't they!!

At Sydney we had to cool our heels for several hours and began to recognise a few familiar faces. Left for N.I. one hour late - Baggage Handlers dispute - and almost had to divert to New Zealand or Brisbane as N.I. fogged in - a common occurrence it seems, - but it cleared in time and we made it. Now the N.I. runway is suited to a Boeing 737 - just - and the Driver really stood the poor thing on its nose to screech to a halt before we encountered trees at the other end. I could see now why they weren't too interested in an extra 40 Kg of piano. With Customs successfully negotiated [we lost our 4 apples but - quarantine is very strict on vegetable matter entering the island.] we entered the real world of N.I. - pouring rain, 10-30 p.m.

A set of Car Keys and instructions to "follow me" and we lurched off into the unknown - hazard lights blaring but no windscreen wipers - next day we found the demisters. The car in front became obnoxious to the point of road rage, continually speeding up and slowing till it eventually expired by the side of the road - it turned out to be the two Peters (Teccles and Ellis) and their antics were mechanical not intentional. The Rescue Party found them still huddled inside complaining bitterly of the smoke - smoke!! - the thing was on fire and so evacuation was executed along with valuable instruments quicker than you could say B flat Minor

Sunday saw the Simms's and the Peters relegated to the one car - we saw safety in numbers. After taking in the Street Market we adjourned to Mokutu Inn where we were welcomed, treated to tea and scones and put wise to some of the ways of Norfolk Islanders. For example, it appears there is an over abundance of the Female of the species and they have a subtle means to advertise their station - vis - a flower behind the left ear indicates "available", a flower behind the right ear indicates "taken" and a flower incorporated in a bun behind the head means "desperate"

The afternoon was spent touring the island where we found 4 people in the small car played havoc with the rear suspension - I think the shockers had parted company with the bodywork - and so we embarked on our 3rd car. It seems maintenance over there is on an "as needed" basis rather than" preventative"

Fish Fry for Tea - tickled the ivories in the St Barnabas Parish Centre - in tune but out of pitch - and adjourned back to Rawson Hall for Welcome Dance where the proper piano hadn't turned up and the Musicians were given pages with funny dots and things all over them.

From Monday on we settled more into a pattern of Dance Workshop in the morning, free time in the afternoon to do our own thing. Another piano?? turned up and I learnt to drive with one hand permanently at the top of the steering wheel as it seems everyone waves to everyone over there. They have but one roundabout in the middle of Burnt Pine - someone mentioned "Roundabout" a while back and so they got one -, however it had a speed hump in the middle to stop motorists driving over it, but it was made out of rubber so you didn't do any damage when you did. We weren't to mention T-----c L-----s.

Tuesday saw Tea at the RSL Club and a Jam Session with the local entertainers, Blackie and Baldy. The piano was small but in pitch and the wine glass kept getting topped up mysteriously so we wobbled home at a late hour, dodging black cows as we went. Cows graze the roads unabated over there and have right of way and there is but one Breathalyser on the island that is used only after the event. Chooks likewise roam the island as there are no natural predators, but they're fair game

Wednesday's big event was the arrival of the Supply boat - one comes about each fortnight and unloads up to 800 tonnes of goods. There is no deep -sea port so it anchors offshore and freight is offloaded on to smaller barges and towed to the Jetty. If there's heavy equipment coming, then two barges are lashed together

The total area of the Island is only 8500 acres with Tourism accounting for 98% of its economy - so most goods are either flown or shipped in. This accounts for petrol being $2.50 a Litre, Fresh milk at $7.00 a Litre, Spuds up to $80.00 a 20 Kg Bag and only 5 Brick houses on the place

4WD Tour this arvo - excellent off-road views - got bogged and broke remote control to winch - just like home on the farm!

Progressive Dinner tonight where we visited 4 different homes for various courses and a talk on the history by the Home owner - beautiful homes made mostly from the local Norfolk Pine timber - while they're protected, if one falls over on your block then you can have it sawn to build your house - some times the second one has to "fall" over to finish the house.

Thursday and 3 1/2 inches of rain overnight - workshop this morning - Botanical gardens this arvo for the Naturalist and Mt Pitt - the highest point, for the Mountaineer - we drove! Great views (360deg) of the island.

The Groups notoriety for today was one member setting fire to her serviette at the food warmer in the Thai Restaurant and sharing it with all on the way back to her table

There is no mail delivery on the Island but there are 1,000 mail boxes at the Post Office where everyone comes for their mail - you're not far from anywhere over here. Likewise car registration, the highest number I saw was just over 3,000

Friday and Anzac Day which is solemnly respected - RSL Club for a free lunch for the Musos and a 2 hour concert / dancing / the Alberts, finalising with a rendition of Lily of Laguna that almost overcame the Club President - God save the Queen and then to the annual game of Two-up. "Convict Night" at Restaurant - a hoot - don't miss it

Saturday saw the decoration of the Hall ready for the Grand Gala Ball - found the ice-cream shop today and took in the Cyclorama and Museum - fuelled the car - 20 Litres and $45.00 for the week Tea at Hall - catered for by the Lions - a photo opportunity of the Musicians and Patrons - an impromptu unaccompanied rendition of "Lloyd George knows my Faaaaaaaaaaather " by two Victorian Musicians, fuelled by red wine, the Bowler hat came into play and we were off into the Ball

Sunday and told Plane 2 hours late - arrived at Airport at 10.00 AM and still no plane - another impromptu Jam Session in Airport to the amusement of other travellers. One Victorian forgot he wasn't home and had to watch his best farm pocket knife go in the bin at Customs. Eventually left at 12.50 - trees at end of runway have been lopped at 15 ft - I'm sure they were singed.

Sydney at 1.40 {gain 1 1/2 hours NI to Sydney] - but still missed plane to Melb. Melb at 5.40 PM - missed train to Kerang so procrastinated. Have you ever walked the streets of Melbourne after dark lately with a stocky, bearded, be speckled male carrying two suspicious looking boxes and wearing a Bowler hat?.

Eventually got him off on a train to Bendigo at 8.25 PM and retired to a Hotel very relieved

Monday - train at 8.00 AM and arrived Kerang before noon - and travelled 1st Class - thanks to a V/line upgrade and Lake Charm that arvo - and all we lost was a Camera Case!

The End

Oh - that reminds me - must write a report on the Tassie trip 2 years ago

Your reluctant correspondent

Stuart