Christmas Letter 2002

Swimming

Swimming is awful. You have to:

And you have to:

And in my pool, at the C*nberra Cl*b, chosen because it's the only place in the Australian Capital Territory where you get your own lane and don't have to be smashed into and nearly drowned by other swimmers who throw their arm or can't tell left from right:

Not that I get away without being bombed at the C*nberra Cl*b. Sometimes it's deliberate (the sauna curmudgeons know I keep asking for an increase in pool temperature) and sometimes it's just autism. Lots of chaps think it's perfectly OK to leap into the pool when someone is practically under their feet. The great crash and the tidal wave frightens me out of my wits; I flinch and risk putting my back into spasm; all in all, I nearly drown. If I say anything, they start shouting and want to argue precise distances.

I hate swimming!

Page created 21 December 2002; last updated 24 December 2002

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