This document consists of selections (by L Cox)
from a paper by Milton Dawes
Creating More Satisfying Relationships
Milton Dawes begins this paper with the following quotation:
When we think of the various conflicts, confusions, disappointments, insecurities, etc that each of us experiences, should we be surprised that our relationships are not always smooth sailing?
The quality of a relationship depends a great deal on the levels of general knowledge, intelligence, clear thinking, respect, willingness to learn that each party brings to or achieves in the relationship.
It is desirable that a partner:
1. Considers the relationship important and valuable.
2. Sees himself/herself as part of a team.
3. Respects the other as a unique individual having needs, values, beliefs, fears of their own.
4. Is not afraid to express emotion.
5. Is open and willing to learn from the other.
6. Recognises the inevitability of change in their relationship.
7. Works at improving his/her communication skills, especially listening and interpreting.
8. Realises that human relationships constitute high levels of complexity.
In addition, Milton suggests that partners might well ask themselves some further questions, such as:
1. Whether their personal requests, demands, expectations are reasonable or too high?
2. Whether they are willing to consider viewpoints that differ radically from their own?
3. How or in what ways might they develop a deeper understanding of themselves and their relationship?